Augies Place | Just Thoughts

• 27May

  Sit Back And Remember

  My Thoughts No Comments

  Why is it, that any holiday, time off, or event, someone is sick? Do they plan it that way? I was sitting today, pondering, reminissing, and it came to my attention that every function I have ever attended had at least one of my family members sitting with the sniffles.

  I was 7 years old. It was christmas time, and I was sick with my appendix. That was a good one. Is it coincidence? Or is there some greater evil out there that enjoys watching suffering in times of joy. We should find him, and tell him we are NOT impressed.

  Timing is everything. There is a point, in every persons life, where everything seems to go wrong, and all you can do is sit there and watch it happen. But maybe it’s a good thing. In fact, if nothing goes wrong, we won’t know what’s right. Perhaps what we need to do is change those tears of helplessness into tears of joy. That would be weird. “I love it when i get scarlet fever” Woops.

  Here is a good one. This time, evil chose to be more mean than ever. I will tell you the holiday AFTER I tell you what happened. I had the chicken pox, my youngest sister had the chicken pox, my other sister had scarlet fever, and my parents were sharing the flu. Get this…. Thanksgiving. Thats right. Usually at thanksgiving time we go around the table, taking turns saying thanks for whatever you are thankful for. What a task. I was thankful for oatmeal baths!

  It’s funny how we are tested in such ironic ways. The outcome of our battles with nature shows what kind of person we can become, but what happens during the battle defines what kind of person we really are.
• 19Apr

  Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

  My Thoughts No Comments

  Just try to say that three times fast…ok with a mouthful of cereal…ok while swilling a cold beer…

  Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

  This is how it manifests:

  I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
  As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
  can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

  I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

  I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

  As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.
  I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

  I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

  I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

  I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

  At the end of the day:

  —-the car isn’t washed,

  —-the bills aren’t paid,

  - —there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,

  —-the flowers don’t have enough water,

  —-there is still only 1 check in my check book,

  —-I can’t find the remote,

  —-I can’t find my glasses,

  —-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

  Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

  I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

  Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent.

  Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

  GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

  LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.

  P.S. I just remembered. I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!

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